Abnormal. A life of meaning.

Today, a dog tried to eat me . Well, not completely, but it sure felt like it. There I was, with this (big) beautiful dog, super friendly and all (really, really big), and I was getting all sorts of tail wags and kisses. No problem. Every sign that I was reading from this (did I mention she was really big?) dog told me she was friendly. Her owner asked me to help put on a harness and size it. I was on one knee and having a hard time sizing it because she was so busy licking my face. I stood up and slipped it over her head, then pet her and began to clip it under her arms, just behind her forelegs. At the exact moment that I got both hands underneath her and I was bent so that her and I were literally nose-to-nose, she froze , for just a quarter of a second. No wagging, no movement, no licking. It was all the warning I got, and it was so fast, I had no time to react. Before I could finish my thought of "hmm, that's not good", she went ballistic. She lunged for my face and...

Wow, what a day. I have run the range of human emotions today, and I'm tired now. At the end of today, this is where I'm at: I'm excited about what's coming in some areas of my life, and sad about others. I'm grateful I wasn't immediately dismissed, and nervous that I'm going to screw up. I'm undecided how I feel about being called "the church girl". I'm angry and frustrated at some people I truly love, for playing these stupid emotional games that hurt those who can't speak for themselves. I'm tired of not being able to protect the ones I love. I'm happy about the time I spent with my best friend. I'm thankful for what I have, and I'm stressed about work. I'm at peace about the decisions we've made today, even the hard ones. And lastly, I'm in love, with my husband and my Creator. .

There are times when things present themselves in such a profound way that you cannot ignore them. Recently in my life, this seems to be the trend. I don't know if God simply knows that I'll miss the subtle hints, or what. This week has been frustrating, anxiety-inducing, and filled with the hopelessness of the world around me. As I struggle to keep my own emotions from carrying me away, I try to keep the world in perspective. I try to remember that I can't fix it all. I can't stop the hurting, the wrongdoing, the storms from coming. It seems that there's no hope left. I look around and I wonder, am I the only one who still believes that good can overcome; love will conquer; miracles can happen? I catch the most crap in my life for my naive hopefulness and my "hero complex". Now, if we've talked this week (or ever) and you have in some way told me that it can never happen, or that I have to be realistic, or that I'm silly for setting myself up to b...

I saw my mom yesterday. That was nice; she came to work. We got to talking and I told her about Focal Point and asked her to pray about it. I told her that I felt like everything was centering around this next year/ year and a half. I told her that it feels like everything familiar is falling away. We're moving, an hour away from the friends that I've been next door to for years. It's not as though I won't see them, but it won't be the same. The one stable thing I thought I still had was Focal Point, my church. Turns out that's going away for a while, too. There are some other things happening, too. But for now, these are leading the way. As I was talking to my mom, she said something that's stuck with me. She said I sounded like her. That's not so bad, in my opinion. :) I'm not angry, or even sad or anxious about all of the changes that are coming. Sure, I'm sad about parts of it, like leaving my friends, the house I've had s...

"My soul finds rest in God alone ; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken ." "...Because your love is better than life ...Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you ..." My soul clings to you. (all emphasis mine.)

Yesterday, I was given much to think about. This has been at the forefront of my mind, as it is a big change and decisions must be made; much must also be considered in this decision. It seems that over the next year to eighteen months, my whole life is about to drastically change. What I am speaking of is not any single event; rather, it is a series of events that all seem to center around the next eighteen months or so. I don't believe in circumstantial accidents. I won't lie: I've never been "big" on change. However, even having said that, I feel that all the changes that are happening are changes that need to happen. The question is, where will I wind up? Becky and I went to Bean There Cafe (awesome coffee, yum yum!) after church yesterday, and my husband called while we were there to see if we wanted to meet him for lunch. So he came to Bean There and we all walked over to Moe's to have lunch. After lunch he asked what we were going to do, and I said ...

I came across something that hit me like a baseball bat. "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." (Isaiah 7:9) Well, alrighty then. End of discussion.

I was driving home from work tonight and it was so, so cold. Bitterly cold. As I blasted the heater in my Jeep, I thought of a man I met a couple of years ago on another bitterly cold night. His name was Earl. The following is a story I wrote about the experience I had with him, and the places my imagination took me because of it. Some of it actually happened, and some of it is purely fictional. Sometime soon I'll have to tell you all the real story of Earl. But for now, let me say this: Earl is a real man. He has very real problems and needs your prayers. I wish I could help Earl; I wish now that I'd done more then, but I never saw him again after that night. Aside from this story, I never really spoke of Earl until recently. I don't know why, but something about him changed me. When I speak of poverty, I speak of Earl. When I speak of need, and helping people, and making a difference, I'm talking about Earl. Yes, Mom, I know I can't save everyone. But is it so wro...

Victory in Iowa for Mike Huckabee! Who knew politics could be...exciting?! :)

I had an idea pretty recently and I've decided to put it into action. What better day to start a new project than January 1? So , here it is: "The Pictures for Perspective" Project. Enjoy! If anyone has pictures they'd like featured here, please email them to me , along with how the person, place, thing, etc. in the picture has impacted you.

As the last few minutes of 2007 ticked away, I started reviewing the year in my mind. I don't know how the year was for you, but I can say that for me, it was a test of my mind, body and soul. 2007 was a year of doctors and disappointment, of death and sorrow, of trials and tears. There were patches of hope, of amazing love, friendship, family, smiles and laughter. New life, new experiences, and a renewing of sorts in my own life. Among my accomplishments in 2007, I quit smoking, a feat I thought impossible for a long time. I also completed my Animal Behavior College courses, and will be "officially" graduating later this month. I learned a lot, met some new people, and started going to Focal Point Church, which is one of those great things that happened in '07. One of the biggest things that has happened this year is that I've reorganized my priorities. I have had my perception altered, and as a result, my entire worldview has changed. I feel more like the perso...