Decisions
Yesterday, I was given much to think about. This has been at the forefront of my mind, as it is a big change and decisions must be made; much must also be considered in this decision. It seems that over the next year to eighteen months, my whole life is about to drastically change. What I am speaking of is not any single event; rather, it is a series of events that all seem to center around the next eighteen months or so. I don't believe in circumstantial accidents.
I won't lie: I've never been "big" on change. However, even having said that, I feel that all the changes that are happening are changes that need to happen. The question is, where will I wind up?
Becky and I went to Bean There Cafe (awesome coffee, yum yum!) after church yesterday, and my husband called while we were there to see if we wanted to meet him for lunch. So he came to Bean There and we all walked over to Moe's to have lunch. After lunch he asked what we were going to do, and I said "Go to the bookstore?" Both Becky and Andy started whining (lol), so Becky rode home with him and I went to Barnes and Noble. I had a rare chance yesterday to just be by myself, away from the house, away from demands, with no schedule, and just think. And think I did. I wandered the bookstore, walking through each section reading the titles (which usually has a weird calming effect on me, it's a way to still my mind), but that day, my mind refused to still. There were so many thoughts running around in my mind, that as one thought began to calm, two or three more would bump into it (lol) and get it going again. Now, don't get me wrong. It wasn't anxiety, or worry, that kept my mind going like that. Haven't you ever just had something "click" in your mind, and it blows you away? You realize that all the pieces are coming together, but you have no idea what the puzzle will be in the end. I went to Starbucks and grabbed a coffee (by the way, why doesn't Starbucks just have COFFEE? I mean, why do we have to have a special blend? I don't want a special blend! I just wanted COFFEE!). I wound up in one of those cushy chairs in the magazine section with a borrowed Bible. People must have thought I was crazy, sitting there staring into space with a coffee and a Bible, at times ignoring both. My mind was able to calm down when I just said "Okay. Tell me what to do next." My thoughts quit running around like little mad things. I went home.
And this morning, I'm reading the words, "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river..."
I don't ever want Him to say that about me. And so, whichever direction I am supposed to go, I ask to be made willing. Because I know what I want to do. But I can't make this decision based on that. So, for those of you that pray, pray for wisdom--for me, as well as everyone else involved in this decision. Pray for peace for those who are in a leadership position, as well. This can't be easy for them.
I won't lie: I've never been "big" on change. However, even having said that, I feel that all the changes that are happening are changes that need to happen. The question is, where will I wind up?
Becky and I went to Bean There Cafe (awesome coffee, yum yum!) after church yesterday, and my husband called while we were there to see if we wanted to meet him for lunch. So he came to Bean There and we all walked over to Moe's to have lunch. After lunch he asked what we were going to do, and I said "Go to the bookstore?" Both Becky and Andy started whining (lol), so Becky rode home with him and I went to Barnes and Noble. I had a rare chance yesterday to just be by myself, away from the house, away from demands, with no schedule, and just think. And think I did. I wandered the bookstore, walking through each section reading the titles (which usually has a weird calming effect on me, it's a way to still my mind), but that day, my mind refused to still. There were so many thoughts running around in my mind, that as one thought began to calm, two or three more would bump into it (lol) and get it going again. Now, don't get me wrong. It wasn't anxiety, or worry, that kept my mind going like that. Haven't you ever just had something "click" in your mind, and it blows you away? You realize that all the pieces are coming together, but you have no idea what the puzzle will be in the end. I went to Starbucks and grabbed a coffee (by the way, why doesn't Starbucks just have COFFEE? I mean, why do we have to have a special blend? I don't want a special blend! I just wanted COFFEE!). I wound up in one of those cushy chairs in the magazine section with a borrowed Bible. People must have thought I was crazy, sitting there staring into space with a coffee and a Bible, at times ignoring both. My mind was able to calm down when I just said "Okay. Tell me what to do next." My thoughts quit running around like little mad things. I went home.
And this morning, I'm reading the words, "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river..."
If only you had paid attention.
I don't ever want Him to say that about me. And so, whichever direction I am supposed to go, I ask to be made willing. Because I know what I want to do. But I can't make this decision based on that. So, for those of you that pray, pray for wisdom--for me, as well as everyone else involved in this decision. Pray for peace for those who are in a leadership position, as well. This can't be easy for them.
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