I choose to hold unswervingly.

There are times when things present themselves in such a profound way that you cannot ignore them. Recently in my life, this seems to be the trend. I don't know if God simply knows that I'll miss the subtle hints, or what. This week has been frustrating, anxiety-inducing, and filled with the hopelessness of the world around me. As I struggle to keep my own emotions from carrying me away, I try to keep the world in perspective. I try to remember that I can't fix it all. I can't stop the hurting, the wrongdoing, the storms from coming. It seems that there's no hope left. I look around and I wonder, am I the only one who still believes that good can overcome; love will conquer; miracles can happen?



I catch the most crap in my life for my naive hopefulness and my "hero complex". Now, if we've talked this week (or ever) and you have in some way told me that it can never happen, or that I have to be realistic, or that I'm silly for setting myself up to be disappointed, or anything similar, I want to say this before I go on: I know that you say these things in love, and that you are trying to help. This isn't a post to complain about you, and I appreciate your honesty, I thank you for your love.

With so much gone wrong, so many that need help, so many innocents that need a voice, maybe I am crazy to think that it can ever end. But, without hope, what is there? What happens when you give up hope?

To the teenagers that I see: I know what it's like to be in love, and what it's like when it goes bad. To be in a world that you think you can change but don't know how. To feel like an adult but be treated like a child. To have emotions, passions, and fears so strong that you feel like you will explode. To be lost in the shuffle. To need purpose. To feel hopeless. To desperately need someone but be too proud to ask.

You are not alone. You will find your purpose, you will make a difference. There is hope. You, so overwhelmed right now, have no idea what you are worth. You are so very important. Don't forget that. Don't give up. Please don't give up.

To the adults, and all the lost ones: I know what it's like to lose someone you don't want to survive without. I know what it's like to have horrible things happen to those you love and feel powerless to stop it. I know what it's like to feel like you have no control over your own life; and what it feels like when you have to make the next move but are too afraid to make a mistake. I can only say this, friend: Move forward. You are not alone, either. You, too, have purpose. It gets better, there is hope.

I have had to make a decision: To be naive and silly, or look at the facts and be logical? Blindly believe in the power of love, or look at the reality and accept the death of hope? Jump in, knowing I will probably fail, or just try to make the descent into madness more bearable? I do not condemn those of you who choose realism. But I choose hope.

I CHOOSE HOPE.

I choose to believe in the impossible. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. My God created this world, and all the people in it. He knows us, cares about us, mourns with us, and has done everything he can to save us. In case I have ever been unclear, let me be perfectly clear now. Most importantly,

HE

LOVES

YOU

So, yeah. I'm crazy. It's okay, I'll be a little nuts. My decision is made. I choose God. I choose life. I choose love, hope, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, kindness, generosity. God and country. I choose to wipe away the tears and to try again.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23