My eyes fail...
Save me O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help, my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God. (Psalm 69:1-3) I'm sinking. I'm drowning. And all the while I'm searching for you, with what little strength I have left. I'm tired. Tired of everything. I'm not alone, and to say so would be insufferably selfish and a lie. I turn to the weak person's comfort, making me hate myself, and yet...it is my only comfort. Comfort in the pain...yeah, that makes sense... I could blame it on being off the meds, but then, why can't I be happy without some chemical programming my brain? What the hell is wrong with me? I've known, academically anyway, that other people don't feel like I do. But I've never felt so...trapped, like I did today. It hurts to stand, it takes every ounce of energy to wal...