To you: A love letter

Hello, sweet baby. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I have so many questions, and I can't wait to see the answer. Will you have olive skin, like your daddy, or pale skin? Maybe it will be the perfect mix, a light olive? You will be beautiful no matter what. Will your eyes be blue, like mine, or deep brown like Daddy's? Will you have thick blonde hair or silky black hair? Will it curl like your daddy's? Will you have Daddy's eyelashes, like I've hoped so many times? Will you have his ridiculously cute dimples? I hope so.

If I close my eyes, I can see you. I imagine the many versions of you that could be. And my heart aches. My arms ache to hold you, my eyes ache to look at you. I was born for you, you know. You are all I want.

Will you be my little girl, like Grandma and Grandpa Trevino hope? Will you be my little Liliana Renae? Aunt Shawne would like that; that's where the Renae comes from. You'll never spell her name wrong like Mommy does, because it'll be yours, too! She's waiting for you, too. So is your Nana, and your Aunt Candi. Even Mommy's friends Jon and Tammy are rooting for you.

But maybe you won't be my little girl. Maybe you will be my little baby boy. Will you be my little Isaac, my "Happy Laughter"? The one that Mommy has prayed would come for so long? Yes, you could be an Isaac.

Your daddy lets Mommy jabber about you. He does it too, sometimes, when he lets himself. Daddy's waiting for you, too. He wants you here so badly. Mommy isn't the only one who aches for you.

Oh, I love you, little one. I love you even before you exist. Please talk to God, and let him know that we're ready for you any time. I love you, and I love you, and I love you.

With all the love in the world,
Mommy

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