50 things
Today I was challenged to come up with fifty reasons that I love God. I thought, oh, that'll be easy! But yeah, I got stuck at like, number 18 or something. So I had to think. Past the obvious, past the fluff. I had to dig. I had to really think about who He is, and why I love him. And suddenly, fifty wasn't enough.
I stopped writing at fifty one, because I have to go to bed at some point, so here are those fifty one reasons.
So, God... here it is.
I love you because:
1. You are Daddy. That means more to me than to most.
2. You never break your promises. Even when I break mine.
3. You made penguins. And sunsets. And: the ocean, storms, weeping willows, daffodils, rivers, dogs, wind, snow, icecicles, the moon, shooting stars, ripples in the sand, laughter, honeysuckles, treefrogs, tadpoles, colors, ivy, seashells, the smell of rain, fire, raindrops, music, and so much more that is beautiful.
4. You gave everything, when I am willing to give so little. And you gave everything knowing I would give so little.
5. You hold me in my darkest hours, even when you are the last one I turned to.
6. You hold me still.
7. You made me passionate, so that I am not content to glide through life.
8. You didn't let me marry Chris. Or Sam.
9. You didn't let me get pregnant when I first asked you to.
10. Abby. She is absolutely amazing. It astounds me the amount of joy that she brings me.
11. Leanna. I must say, nicely done. She is passionate, too; even now, so early in her life.
12. You have protected me from the consequences of my actions many times. I never got pregnant from having sex; I never got a disease from the drugs or sex or anything else; I never got killed for getting too drunk and driving/getting in the car with a drunk/jumping in the river in December/pounding on apartment doors at 3 am.
13. You loved me through all of that (which is amazing), and more. You love me still.
14. Shawne. She has been an amazing friend, and I am grateful that you brought us together.
15. You refused to listen when I begged you to end it all. You took away my nerve when I sought to do it myself, and sent Tonya to make a phone call just in time.
16. You have protected me from myself when I didn't bother to.
17. You gave me Jon.
18. You give me perspective. You do not allow me to ignore the things I need to acknowledge.
19. You were so brilliant that you thought, "Hey, I'll just give 'em an instruction manual!"
20. You have a sense of humor. I mean, come on. Monkeys with blue butts? Brilliant!
21. Andy. He has been a rock in times I never would have made it without him. Meeting him was not chance.
22. I have a mansion waiting for me.
23. You do what is best for me, even when I disagree about what that may be.
24. Michael.
25. Candi, Nana, and Mom. You gave me the perfect mom for the situation that you knew would be my life.
26. You never worry. That just blows me away. You've always got it all under control.
27. You gave me a conscience. I value that greatly.
28. You teach me things and allow me to learn in an amazing capacity.
29. You take such care in everything you do--the human body is amazing. Not to mention the intricacies of a storm, or photosynthesis, or solar systems, or galaxies.
30. You give me a fascination for those things.
40. Hope. Hope is a beautiful thing, and only you could have understood how important it would be and breathe it into existence.
41. Because of what you allowed me to do in Santo Domingo and in New York, even when I wasn't in the right state at those times.
42. Focal Point Church as a whole; Tally and John specifically as well. You take away the filter that most preachers have, and through them, you hit me over the head with truth constantly. Only You could do that on such a regular basis...lol.
43. My dogs. That's one of the ways I know you have a sense of humor.
44. You have allowed me to be great at my job, to care about it dearly, and to make a difference, if only a small one.
45. You have made me desire to make a difference. You have given me PURPOSE.
46. YOU ARE GOD. I mean, seriously. People say, "who are you?", and you're all like, "I AM." That just kind of says it all, doesn't it? You are everything. I love you because you remind me of that, and because you're just..."IT"...more than eBay's ever dreamed.
47. Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. This list is for you, so I don't have to try to put words on this one. Thank you.
48. Becky. She is so unique, so passionate, so very strong and amazing. You've guided her this far, even when we've failed to do it.
49. Costa Rica, 1998. My beautiful, beautiful Costa Rica.
50. LOVE. I love you because of love itself. Isn't it an amazing thing? Love, hope, purpose...it all goes together. I have seen more love in my lifetime than many will ever see. Only you could create something so important and amazing, and truly show me what love is. I love you.
51. I love you, because you have created me perfectly, just the way you meant to, just the way you wanted me to be.
I stopped writing at fifty one, because I have to go to bed at some point, so here are those fifty one reasons.
So, God... here it is.
I love you because:
1. You are Daddy. That means more to me than to most.
2. You never break your promises. Even when I break mine.
3. You made penguins. And sunsets. And: the ocean, storms, weeping willows, daffodils, rivers, dogs, wind, snow, icecicles, the moon, shooting stars, ripples in the sand, laughter, honeysuckles, treefrogs, tadpoles, colors, ivy, seashells, the smell of rain, fire, raindrops, music, and so much more that is beautiful.
4. You gave everything, when I am willing to give so little. And you gave everything knowing I would give so little.
5. You hold me in my darkest hours, even when you are the last one I turned to.
6. You hold me still.
7. You made me passionate, so that I am not content to glide through life.
8. You didn't let me marry Chris. Or Sam.
9. You didn't let me get pregnant when I first asked you to.
10. Abby. She is absolutely amazing. It astounds me the amount of joy that she brings me.
11. Leanna. I must say, nicely done. She is passionate, too; even now, so early in her life.
12. You have protected me from the consequences of my actions many times. I never got pregnant from having sex; I never got a disease from the drugs or sex or anything else; I never got killed for getting too drunk and driving/getting in the car with a drunk/jumping in the river in December/pounding on apartment doors at 3 am.
13. You loved me through all of that (which is amazing), and more. You love me still.
14. Shawne. She has been an amazing friend, and I am grateful that you brought us together.
15. You refused to listen when I begged you to end it all. You took away my nerve when I sought to do it myself, and sent Tonya to make a phone call just in time.
16. You have protected me from myself when I didn't bother to.
17. You gave me Jon.
18. You give me perspective. You do not allow me to ignore the things I need to acknowledge.
19. You were so brilliant that you thought, "Hey, I'll just give 'em an instruction manual!"
20. You have a sense of humor. I mean, come on. Monkeys with blue butts? Brilliant!
21. Andy. He has been a rock in times I never would have made it without him. Meeting him was not chance.
22. I have a mansion waiting for me.
23. You do what is best for me, even when I disagree about what that may be.
24. Michael.
25. Candi, Nana, and Mom. You gave me the perfect mom for the situation that you knew would be my life.
26. You never worry. That just blows me away. You've always got it all under control.
27. You gave me a conscience. I value that greatly.
28. You teach me things and allow me to learn in an amazing capacity.
29. You take such care in everything you do--the human body is amazing. Not to mention the intricacies of a storm, or photosynthesis, or solar systems, or galaxies.
30. You give me a fascination for those things.
40. Hope. Hope is a beautiful thing, and only you could have understood how important it would be and breathe it into existence.
41. Because of what you allowed me to do in Santo Domingo and in New York, even when I wasn't in the right state at those times.
42. Focal Point Church as a whole; Tally and John specifically as well. You take away the filter that most preachers have, and through them, you hit me over the head with truth constantly. Only You could do that on such a regular basis...lol.
43. My dogs. That's one of the ways I know you have a sense of humor.
44. You have allowed me to be great at my job, to care about it dearly, and to make a difference, if only a small one.
45. You have made me desire to make a difference. You have given me PURPOSE.
46. YOU ARE GOD. I mean, seriously. People say, "who are you?", and you're all like, "I AM." That just kind of says it all, doesn't it? You are everything. I love you because you remind me of that, and because you're just..."IT"...more than eBay's ever dreamed.
47. Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. This list is for you, so I don't have to try to put words on this one. Thank you.
48. Becky. She is so unique, so passionate, so very strong and amazing. You've guided her this far, even when we've failed to do it.
49. Costa Rica, 1998. My beautiful, beautiful Costa Rica.
50. LOVE. I love you because of love itself. Isn't it an amazing thing? Love, hope, purpose...it all goes together. I have seen more love in my lifetime than many will ever see. Only you could create something so important and amazing, and truly show me what love is. I love you.
51. I love you, because you have created me perfectly, just the way you meant to, just the way you wanted me to be.
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