Sharks in the Water

I'm pretty successful. I mean seriously, I'm not Bill Gates or anything, but I'd consider myself successful. At 24, I've managed to gather for myself a pretty good life. A life I got by working hard, playing smart, and making [somewhat] wise decisions. I started work at a company when I was seventeen, and went from bottom of the rung to store manager. I could sell ice to an eskimo. Figuring out that they didn't pay enough, and the job sucked anyway, I stepped down and started looking for another job. I then began work as a bather at PetSmart. Hey, working with dogs couldn't be that bad, right? Even if I was squeezing anal sacs and blow drying hairy beasts. (If you don't know what anal sacs are, count yourself lucky and move on.) I made a few bad decisions in my personal life, but lo and behold, one day while trying to drive and drink orange juice at the same time, I totaled my car (which I bought myself, wouldn't let anyone help me get it). My roomate, a man named Andy, realized how much he loved me that day. I listened to a friend and gave him a chance. A couple of years later, he proposed. I turned 21 on May 11, 2004. I married Andy on May 29, 2004. We'd bought a house the previous October. I got promoted. I got good at my job. I made a name for myself in my profession. And here I am. I don't have to even look at anal sacs anymore.



I made sure that most of my success couldn't be attributed to anyone or anything but me, and occasionally those who loved me. And so, when it comes to other things, I must ask: is it any wonder that after trying so hard to keep God in the background, he is refusing to stay there?

I wasted so much time and energy not letting him help, hold, guide, or influence me. I specifically remember times when I did something that I knew was the wrong choice, just to say, "Ha. I'll do what I want to do, not what YOU think I should do." So, just how successful am I? Looking at it from a whole new perspective, I just look seriously screwed up.


I was recently told that when you see something you can't do on your own, it makes you see just how much you do need His help. Even when you don't want to. Even when you think you don't. Pretty smart guy to tell me that, huh? It's all about perspective.




So you know what I think? I think it must really suck to love someone so much, so much that you would and have given everything for them, and they just blow you off. I think maybe I'd toss a shark in the water just to remind that person that they need me. I think I'd let them make their own mistakes, so they could see that I loved them enough to show them how to avoid those mistakes. And I think I'd give up when they just blamed me for everything instead of acknowledging my love. Good thing I'm not God, huh?



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